Use moist heat, please.

I'm a worrier. I have this cancer thing that seems to really get in the way of my breastfeeding experience with Bean. I've had recurrent mastitis, blocked ducts, milk blisters, and just an overall super tenderness/pain experience on one side since he was born. Yes, I've seen a lactation consultant. Yes, I've talked to my doctor. But there it is, waiting to cause a problem once I let my guard down and get comfortable.
Yesterday was that day - the newest in a long series of painful problems. I'm kind of scared that this bump/cyst has something to do with it. I am torn between the knowledge that it probably does, and that if I want it to be better, they'll have to take it out. If they remove it, I can't nurse my son on that side until it heals (read: milk will dry up). It's my most productive side, and to be honest, I've been fighting to feed him since he was born, so it's very personal. I'm not ready to wean by fire. I'm just not done feeding him.
My mind runs away, and I think, "What if it's cancer? What if I'm too proud to stop and this thing is killing me?"
I'm pretty sure it's not. But still.
I can't wait for our really good insurance (with low deductible) kicks in, so I can have cytology done.
I could do it now, but it would cost us a pretty penny, and we seem to be lacking those at the moment.
Man, I hate this bump.
It's not cancer. It's just something preventing me from enjoying this experience with my son. Kinda like the guy from my last post. Screw you, bump.