I'm having a hard time with a decision I've recently made regarding my health. I was diagnosed with ADHD twelve years ago (with my Mother's battle cry being, "I've known for years!"), and since then, I have never been on a medication regiment. I dabbled with two different levels of Ritalin, but it made me feel so slow and doped up, like everything was in slow motion, so I didn't actually find the right dose for me or continue down that path.
Now that I'm a mom, however, I think things need to change. I believe I have taken the coping skills/mechanisms I know that help me function and remember things about as far as I can. Having a child seriously addles your brain, and I just can't keep on top of anything anymore. Plus, as any person with ADHD will tell you, making yourself/willing yourself to focus is incredibly draining and exhausting both emotionally and physically. Unfortunately, being the primary caretaker of an infant does not allow you to have period breaks of following your every whim/looking at shiny things/mentally checking out.
I told Paul that I think I need to get a referral for a psychiatrist, so I can be retested/try medication. I know it's a positive step, but I just feel so upset and ashamed by it. I am aware that many people believe ADHD to be overly-diagnosed, and give advice that suggests the person-in-question simply needs to "learn to sit still and pay attention." If only it were that easy. It's a very real diagnosis, and very frustrating - I would love to sit still, pay attention, not interrupt others when they are speaking, and remember things.
I just have to keep telling myself that I'm making the best choice I can for myself, my husband, and my son.
Monday, October 10, 2011
Squirrel!
I'm having a hard time with a decision I've recently made regarding my health. I was diagnosed with ADHD twelve years ago (with my Mother's battle cry being, "I've known for years!"), and since then, I have never been on a medication regiment. I dabbled with two different levels of Ritalin, but it made me feel so slow and doped up, like everything was in slow motion, so I didn't actually find the right dose for me or continue down that path.
Now that I'm a mom, however, I think things need to change. I believe I have taken the coping skills/mechanisms I know that help me function and remember things about as far as I can. Having a child seriously addles your brain, and I just can't keep on top of anything anymore. Plus, as any person with ADHD will tell you, making yourself/willing yourself to focus is incredibly draining and exhausting both emotionally and physically. Unfortunately, being the primary caretaker of an infant does not allow you to have period breaks of following your every whim/looking at shiny things/mentally checking out.
I told Paul that I think I need to get a referral for a psychiatrist, so I can be retested/try medication. I know it's a positive step, but I just feel so upset and ashamed by it. I am aware that many people believe ADHD to be overly-diagnosed, and give advice that suggests the person-in-question simply needs to "learn to sit still and pay attention." If only it were that easy. It's a very real diagnosis, and very frustrating - I would love to sit still, pay attention, not interrupt others when they are speaking, and remember things.
I just have to keep telling myself that I'm making the best choice I can for myself, my husband, and my son.
Now that I'm a mom, however, I think things need to change. I believe I have taken the coping skills/mechanisms I know that help me function and remember things about as far as I can. Having a child seriously addles your brain, and I just can't keep on top of anything anymore. Plus, as any person with ADHD will tell you, making yourself/willing yourself to focus is incredibly draining and exhausting both emotionally and physically. Unfortunately, being the primary caretaker of an infant does not allow you to have period breaks of following your every whim/looking at shiny things/mentally checking out.
I told Paul that I think I need to get a referral for a psychiatrist, so I can be retested/try medication. I know it's a positive step, but I just feel so upset and ashamed by it. I am aware that many people believe ADHD to be overly-diagnosed, and give advice that suggests the person-in-question simply needs to "learn to sit still and pay attention." If only it were that easy. It's a very real diagnosis, and very frustrating - I would love to sit still, pay attention, not interrupt others when they are speaking, and remember things.
I just have to keep telling myself that I'm making the best choice I can for myself, my husband, and my son.
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